IFAILS Progress Report

I’m FORCED to write this blog post today because my millions of fans should KNOW what attention-seeking rating WHORES Kevin and Russ are!!

As my MILLIONS of fans know, I have been conducting IMPORTANT research that will save everyone, everywhere, from EVERYTHING . . . Important Felt Analysis Integrated Lint Study, commonly referred to as IFAILS.  The importance of IFAILS canNOT be over-emphasized!!

I have raised a LOT of money, but I STILL NEED A LOT MORE!!!!!!!  (As soon as I have an ACCOUNTANT, I’ll send the REPORT!! If you know an accountant who will work for FREE, email me!!)

But Kevin and Russ decided to do a show WITHOUT TELLING ME about what’s going on with IFAILS, and they asked QUESTIONS about really STUPID stuff, like who is doing the research and what did the study find, blah blah blah!  When people ask QUESTIONS, it takes my TIME and cuts into my profit margin, which means I MAY not have enough money to finish IFAILS!  If IFAILS isn’t completed, it won’t just be money flushed down the toilet.  It will also be the end of HUMAN CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT!!!

So I had NO choice:  I called into Russ’ show to answer questions because I always keep my word and I have morals and fuck them!

And YES, I may have used some foul language, but I had NO choice! It was their fault!!! Also, I think they had a gun that they may have used to end my LIFE if I hadn’t called in!

Dear Kevin and Russ:

My language was foul and the information I shared violated a contract I may or may not have signed.  

Take down the show so I don’t get my ass sued and wind up homeless and penniless and dead.  

You SWORE on ALL you hold sacred that you would take that show down after 45 seconds!!!!

The ungrateful socksuckers refused to take it down, citing some bullshit about censorship and free will and blah blah blah. LIARS!

So I’m calling them out in this blog.  If they CARED about ANYTHING, they wouldn’t question ME!  And they would take down the show because it’s their fault that I was forced to call in and use foul language and say stuff!

THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT!

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